1: yeah i guess i know, i just hate how it sounds
it’s been a long time since i’ve moved around. but i guess four years is a long enough relationship to have with anything, even any place. it’s got none of the fancy graphics, no more i am a master evil genius, but it looks cleaner and more like a fresh start. i always say these words in an inaugural post like they mean something, and slowly these words fade away into something less meaningful and alot more mundane. things i do in my everyday life are described simply as that, without the fancy language and syntax and suddenly i become 19 years old again, talking to people in my demographic who are not used to long sentences with about four hundred commas in between. words that paint pictures, that evoke emotion, that strip a person naked. he told me, a poem is like a naked person, and poets strip people bare. some people do that regularly; i used to, but i can’t call up inspiration wherever i like anymore. in any case, it’s a challenge nowadays to craft your words, and even though it seems like a pity to stop, it gets tiring, you know it. and after awhile it becomes pretentious. then we revert to the everyday tellings of our life, complete with pictures to satisfy the voyeur, and everything seems mindless.
my new specs are red. it’s a change, and you know you’ve passed a certain age when your favourite colour turns from pink to blue to red. it’s sort of like a coming of age, you know? though i still wouldn’t say red is my favourite colour, but it certainly figures largely in my decision to buy clothes or things. i’m still a big fan of the blue-white-red combination. talk about franco-american loyalties. singapore, you are not my country, indeed. national day is coming, and soon it’ll be one of those days where i sit down and think about what it means to be singaporean and what it means to me. maybe this year will be different, considering the way in which i have now happily dumped myself into the category that is not quitter, but i did not stay for those reasons, though they can appropriate whatever they like. and singapore has won the world cup five times. the 8th august post; wait for it.
i met SQ, JW, pak, RM and her other half today for dinner, at cafe iguana. i have been to that place too many times, and i keep ordering the same damn drinks. i don’t know what it is with alcohol actually, i’m beginning to get sick of it. i don’t even like the taste of it much, since everytime i order something i hope to hell i can’t taste the alcohol. like the margaritas, or tequila sunrise, or a random cocktail. it’s the cloying, bitter aftertaste, the burning down your throat. some people like it. and i only drink tequila shots for the lime and the salt; most of the time it’s down so fast i don’t remember anything except the way the fire burns down your stomach – like that time at zouk with ZH. or maybe it’s just because i’ve been drinking too much lately, and all of it tastes the same after awhile. can you ever get sick of a pleasant high? despite never getting drunk, maybe it’s just the realisation that all this leads to nowhere in the end. trust me kids, it’s not really cool to drink like a fish and flop dead at the end of the day. so for the first time in my life since i started drinking, i ordered something non-alcoholic at a bar. congratulate me, because it really is quite a momentous occasion.
the boy and i went browsing around art friend last weekend, along with all the other shops on the fourth floor at taka. and i’m absolutely taken with the toy shop that sells all the kids’ stuff. there is a wooden foosball table! i’d buy it for my mum – she’s always wanted one – but like she said the last time we were actively considering getting one, i have no idea what purpose it would actually serve. though the boy always has a ready answer to that: if seeing it makes you happy, that’s its purpose. but mothers seem to like saving money more than gaining happiness. or to them it’s the same thing. just saying.
does this qualify as a decent first post? there’ve been a lot of things on my mind lately, and i haven’t written like this in awhile. my dream is one day to go back to this style of writing permanently, to try and express my feelings and thoughts in a way more beautiful than ‘OMG I AM BORED’, though i admit to being terribly plebeian most of the time. and like i said, too much of this and the whole endeavour is a pretentious waste of time.
though i must strive to at least have a running theme through my post titles. the first of these, i saw randomly on my msn list and discovered afterwards that it belonged to C., whose blog i sorely miss, because she says things without knowing but then everybody feels them. and everybody feels the same way.
