18- 21 May.

So, finally, here is Osaka. Most of what they say about Osaka is totally true. It’s a merchant town, and it’s filled with people who love food, love being happy, love being loud and funny and living life. It’s kind of like being Hokkien on crack. Being Japanese, they’re naturally polite, and really really willing to help. They’re the sort of people that, when you are standing alone on the train platform surrounded by your luggage, an elderly lady will totter over to you asking, 大丈夫か？ (Are you all right?). At this point most of what you can say merely consists of ああ、はい (Ah, yes) which is really rude now that I think about it. Yet the same elderly lady, when getting onto the train, will fight you tooth and nail to get in and give you a not-so-friendly push if you dawdle too long at the entrance. Osaka people are always hurrying everywhere; not in the same way as Tokyo or the big cities, where everyone needs to look like they have something very important to do. Here it is pure unadulterated rush. 

We spent four days in Osaka, and they were a good four days. We visited temples and parks, castles, got lost, did lots of shopping, checked out Kennedy’s wildly expensive t-shirts, gawked at more wildly expensive merchandise, ate and walked, and ate, and ate non-stop. 

Day 1: Getting to Osaka, Umeda.

From Yokohama, the train ride to Osaka took less than two hours. I love Japanese trains. For someone as unused to taking complicated trains as me (J can read train schedules, all that jazz), the Japanese system is idiot-proof. 

I saw a lot of things along the way. The landscape changes so quickly and smoothly, and it’s gone before you even realise it’s there. There are buildings that line the edge of each city in higgledy-piggledy fashion, and there are shrines in the middle of the suburbs marked with a little headstone. I remember factories, their white clouds of smoke blowing into the rice fields, endless, endless tunnels. When the train stops at the station little old ladies emerge from the shinkansen, their backs ramrod straight in their kimono, navigating their way through the morning rush. 

We land in Shin-Osaka station, so to get to town we have to take one more stop on the subway to Osaka station itself. In the heart of Osaka is the town of Umeda, home to many shopping centres and a brightly-lit entertainment district. It was to here we made our way in the afternoon, and after we dumped our bags at the hotel we came out for some food.

Food in Osaka is everywhere. I don’t think it’s even possible to go hungry in Osaka, even if you don’t resort to eating fast food. There are takoyaki stands everywhere, little eateries that hide in between fashion retailers, dessert parlours, crepe parlours… 

This being our first day, we decided to stay in the area and go shopping. We grabbed lunch at a nearby place; and we each had a teishoku with a bowl of ramen, a mini-bowl of fried rice and chicken karaage (see middle portion of picture). Then we headed to Hankyu Men’s Department Store (just next to the streets pictured above) and checked out Quadrophenia, a place, which I have discovered, sells t-shirts that cost something like $300 each, among other things. That said, the whole place is filled with unaffordable things and the whole building is dedicated solely to menswear. There are high-end boutiques all over, Tiffany’s (for men only), Dior Homme, the usual suspects, and then there is the Hankyu Department Store itself which sounds slightly lower-end but isn’t really at all. We later went to HEP Five next door and managed to be more successful in buying stuff here… that day I spent close to $400 on clothes and didn’t realise it till I got back to the hotel and counted the receipts. Ooops. 

At night after we finally walked out of the place, the street corner was occupied by a band. I mean it was literally a street corner, and after marveling at how there were enough power points on the street for them to plug up amps for drummer, guitarist (lead and rhythm), bass and vocals, we listened to them sing and they were pretty good. They didn’t look any younger or older than us, but they were having the time of their lives, people stopped to listen and didn’t run away when their groupie friend approached them to hand out leaflets and promote CDs. It was a great experience. We bought their CD with a 頑張って，ね！and then headed back onto the streets to grab some dinner. 

I don’t think I’m over-exaggerating when I say almost all the city streets in Osaka are lit like that, and those two were just minor streets; alleys, more like. For dinner we stumbled into this little place that sold deep-fried everything, which served huge portions to everybody with a smile. My teishoku (top left picture) this time contained a huge bowl of rice with cold grilled salmon and really cold avocado on top (and there was so much salmon it took up probably half the bowl), a huge pile of chicken karaage, and the usual works. It was so good; we kept coming back to eat here the next few days. We even asked if they did takeaway!

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Day 2: Nanba, Abeno, Tennoji. 

The picture on the right is what we see whenever we step out of the hotel. It’s located smack in the middle of the ‘entertainment’ district and things are seriously entertaining down here. As you can see, it’s all out in the open, and anybody can just walk in here. When we went to explore a lot of hotels actually looked muh nicer than the one we were staying in, but the difference is they only charged by the hour…

Also, we discovered it is possible to rent a room for 10 minutes. What the hell can you do in 10 minutes?!

The first picture of the subway line is just to inform you, if you are a Hana Kimi fan, that almost all the characters in Hana Kimi are inevitably named after some place in Osaka, and it is most likely a train station. hence:

The second day started off a bit weirdly. We headed to Nanba in the morning only to realise that Nanba is really more of a night place than a late morning one, so we had breakfast/lunch there and then decided to head on to Tennoji to take a look at Tennoji Park. Once we got out and followed the map of Osaka, we walked and walked and didn’t find the park… at all. Inevitably we ended up somewhere in Abeno (which is the next district, i.e. very far) and had to walk all the way back to Tennoji Station (okay, I can’t say Tennoji without thinking of the guy up there) but along the way we saw some pretty cool-ass graffiti on the walls.

Oh, and. When we walked back to the station, we realised the park was round the corner. However it was a Monday and Tennoji Park is closed on Mondays. So we ended up walking and trying to peek through the fence from the outside… along the way we passed by the zoo, the Art Museum, and a long, long boulevard.Seriously you have to love people who call crescent-shaped bread “Honeymoon”. Hahaha.

So. Our plan to visit the park having been foiled, we decided to head to Shitennoji (四天王寺), which was first built 1400 years ago. Along the way, we stopped by Isshinji (一心寺).

Isshinji originated in the spring of 1185. The old temple used to perch o sharp cliff on the west side, and sea waves used to dash up along the sides. Though it used to be just a small-sized hermitage, it expanded greatly due to Tokugawa influence in the 1600s, after they won the Summer Battle of Osaka against the Toyotomi family. During the war the temple was severely damaged by bombing and the current temple that stands has been rebuilt in the last 50 years.

The temple is of Jodo determination but allows the remains of any person from any religious domination to be laid to rest in the cemetery. The graves located here include many famous Kabuki actors as well as entertainers, as well as some prominent military figures. Apparently, an alcoholic’s visit to Lord Honda Izumonokami’s grave will remedy his alcoholism.

Okay but. What has seriously got to be the most interesting thing about this temple is that it is home to the Okotsubutsu (お骨物), a statue of Buddha made from the remains of 200,000 to 250,000 people, which were powdered and kneaded to make the statue. The justification is that in Japan, remains from cremation are often shut away and forgotten about. By turning it into a statue of Buddha, the remains are now an object of everyday worship; the deceased now emerges again befoe the people. 

The first such Okotsubutsu was made in 1887 and one is made every 10 years. So far 12 have been created but 6 have been destroyed due to the war.

After Isshinji, we walked a long way to Shitennoji, when it started raining. And there were 45 minutes to closing, so … I’m not sure if we rushed through it, but it was a really nice place.

I wanted to take a picture of the pebbled courtyard but it didn’t turn out well. It’s the kind of thing you have to see to believe, because the courtyard is about the size of a football field and every inch of it is meticulously raked in straight lines. It is amazing.

On the way back to Umeda we ended up at Nanba again, and this time we accidentally stumbled onto the Yoshimoto agency headquarters. Yoshimoto is one of the biggest comedy agencies in Japan (it’s kind of like Johnny’s for comedians) and some of the biggest names in comedy in Japan are from Yoshimoto. Here there is an entertainment headquarters where comedians regularly stage shows everyday.

The rain that day was quite sian, and for awhile all we did was huddle at Starbucks before we decided we wanted to eat. Conveniently there was an udon stall opposite Starbucks so off we went, and the best part was that it cost us something like 200 yen ($3, which is a bargain in Japan). Nothing good like hot udon to get you through a rainy day. In any case we felt much better after getting back to the hotel and watching the daily news to find out that people’s umbrellas were regularly being blown inside out in Tokyo because the wind conditions were so bad.

Yes. That is a double sausage McMuffin. For supper.

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Day 3: Osaka Castle, Tennoji Park, Shinsaibashi, Dotonbori.

 

This day was a good day because we didn’t get lost. Apart from Osaka Castle (大阪城, or Osaka-jo), the area is home to the Police Headquarters, the NHK Broadcasting Corporation, and the Osaka-jo Hall which is kind of a really really huge stadium. So, there were lots and lots of landmarks, and we found the Castle pretty easily.

I had to take a picture of the NHK headquarters because Shounen Club in Osaka is filmed here every time. Ahem.

 

Osaka Castle was built by Toyotomi Hideyoshi in 1583 as an impregnable fortress (sounds like Singapore, eh) as the base of his campaign for national unification, as well as a symbol of his power and status. Apparently, its fame extended not just to Japan, but also to China and Korea. The current structure is to be the innermost part of the castle, protected by two moats. Which kind of shows you how big the original castle actually was…

Above is the main entrance, Ote-mon (お手門) and Nishinomaru Garden (西の丸園), which used to be the home of a concubine, and also housed an ammunition storehouse. The garden itself is really really pretty in the cherry blossom season, since it holds a lot of flowering trees. 

The current main tower is used as a museum, and we spent a few hours just going from floor to floor even though we couldn’t understand anything…

We also walked through the Plum Garden (梅園). Flowering season is over so it wasn’t as beautiful as it should have been, but the walk through was calming and sometimes amusing – check out the 杨贵妃! 

This led us round to the back of the castle, since the Plum Garden surrounds the east side of the castle whereas the Nishinomaru takes up the west, where we discovered Gokuraku-bashi (極楽橋), which can, for lack of a better word, be called the back entrance to the castle. 

It’s old and a bit rickety, and it took us ages and ages to get these shots, but it was worth it… I think.

When you are travelling in a pair, self-timer is really your best friend. Learn how to use it.

As we walked towards the station we passed by a baseball diamond (!!!) with highschoolers practicing baseball (!!!!!! Scene out of your high school drama!) and Osaka-jo Hall. Somebody was having their concert that day so the goods stall was open and there were loads and loads of people queueing. 

After this, we took the train back to Tennoji to finish what we started yesterday. This time, the park was open, and it was beautiful.

Seriously, gardens. We went to the new HortPark yesterday and it is nothing compared to this. It isn’t much by international standards, but I think the thing about tropical gardens is generally that you don’t get alot of pretty flowers, which kind of spoils the effect. We walked into the greenhouse in Tennoji Park, saw all the tropical plants, and were reminded of home. In a very unpleasant humid way.

That thing you see in my hand is a Beard Papa cream puff. Strangely enough it was the only Beard Papa stall we came across the entire trip, and it was located inside the station. But it was sooo good. 

Tennoji Park specialises in roses. They are seriously beautiful. There are so many, and the flowers are so full and heavy and heady that they fall off their stems from the sheer weight of their petals, even though they’re still fresh. When that happens the ground is scattered with fresh petals, in shades of pink and white, and there are all these elderly people who sit in the benches at the gazebos watching the flowers fall. Oh God. You really can’t get any more ideal than that.

In the middle there is a water feature with stepping stone and waterfalls and fountains and goodness knows what. We had a lot of fun with the self-timer, as you will see.

You can’t ever self-time anything in Europe I think. It’d just get stolen before you know it…

Watch as we start off posing not knowing how fast the shutter speed is then look at J trying to strangle me!

There are all these random rose tunnels along the park. This one was filled with miniature rosebuds and somehow they reminded me of my niece during my cousin’s wedding. So lovely.

After this, we were feeling very very hungry, and the sun was setting. So we headed to Shinsaibashi (心斎橋) in search of the Osaka Johnny’s shop, which was located just past Amemura (America-Village/America-mura, アメ村). 

At this point I was still trying to convince myself that I wouldn’t buy anything. Obviously I failed, partly because I was thinking in the classic holiday style: since I am all the way here I might as well buy something. In any case I don’t know anybody who ships these things over from official shops, so once again, I descended into the pits of fangirl-dom to get my pictures.

Johnny’s; taking over your life one pretty boy at a time. 

There was a middle-aged father inside on the phone talking to his daughter (or even wife?) who was trying to get all the photos she wanted. It was kind of funny because all the pictures are numbered, but the girl on the phone was just describing the photos to him, and he had to search really hard… poor man. Also, ten thousand brownie points.

Finally we managed to try the Freshness Burger. It was good. It was so much good. I don’t know why all the vegetables in Japan are like mega-sized but its not that I’m complaining. So good.

Moreover it had the whole sitting by the sidewalk looking onto the street vibe, which was great and got us alot of cute pictures till two Brits came to sit next to us and were generally annoying because they were having totally pointless conversations:

Brit 1: But I don’t like tomato!

Brit 2: Well don’t give it to me, I don’t want to become like you!

After Amemura we headed to Dotonbori, which is basically just food and entertainment (lots of pachinko and arcades) along the river. See, this is the part I love about cities. It’s the neon lights that reflect against the water, and they just flash and flash and flash continually. The whole place looks so alive. 

Yamapi’s face is freaking everywhere. Especially on a billboard above a really crowded street filled with black-suited hosts trying to pimp themselves that is something like 30 feet tall.

Also, please take a look at the TOTAL WORKOUT picture. I’m not sure if the sheer number of escalators is supposed to be a hint or anything…

While walking we stumbled across this cool bridge. Naturally we got to taking lots and lots of photos.

Again it was with the self-timer. It was really funny this time because I was trying to set it up on one of the red things when a bunch of guys walked by and asked whether we wanted them to help us take a picture and I was all like, “It’s okay, it’s okay!” and then one of them saw me setting up the thing. Then he asked solemnly, “タイマーか？” (Oh, it’s a timer?), and nodded sagely. Then they all walked off.

I really, really like Osaka. The city centre is kind of like Singapore downtown and everything is connected and just leads on one to the other. So from Shinsaibashi we walked down Midosuji (御堂筋, the main shopping street) all the way to Nanba, turned right to get to Dotonbori, and got back on track to the main areas again.

Everytime I think of Midosuji I think of Osaka Romanesque, which is a song by Kanjani8. The lyrics are about falling in love in Osaka:

恋をするなら御堂筋から始まるのさ

(If you’re going to fall in love, start at Midosuji)

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Day 4: Umeda.

That night, after we got back, I felt like shit, so the next morning, though we were supposed to go to Universal Studios Japan, we scrapped it in favour of bumming. It seems like we bum everywhere and we always end up in Starbucks no matter which part of the world we’re in. A bit unnerving really…

It was afternoon by the time we emerged from the hotel, and we went straight to the chicken karaage stall we mentioned on the first day for lunch. It was so good. 

On the top floor of HEP Five there was a Moriyama Daido exhibition (Erotica), so we decided to check it out.

The bottom left picture is the not-so-aerial view of Osaka station. The red parts are all train lines. Although I must say the one that takes the cake is Shinjuku, where you can change train along a mind-boggling 13 under- and over-ground lines…

To reward ourselves, we decided to go on the ferris wheel. It’s a ferris wheel built into the shopping centre! WTF!

The trains curve along the city’s underbelly and just speed by without you even noticing.

Again there were a shitload of self-timer shots. It’s kind of amazing how we keep doing this…

After we came out we had our first dinner in a shopping centre. It was yummy! We had baked rice; one with salmon and asparagus, and the other with thick cut bacon. 

As we crossed the road back to our hotel (that’s the cross-junction), we remembered the small things. The cigarette shop, the young girls with their maid costumes and smiles, the black-suited hosts with a cigarette in their mouths and rings on their fingers, the convenience store that displays yesterday’s leftover bento at a discounted price in the morning.

With that, we said goodbye to Osaka. 

(The full album is here.
The rest of the posts are here: Tokyo, Yokohama, Kyoto, Tokyo.)