sing with me, sing for the year,
sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
sing with me, just for today
maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

it’s the last day of the year! every year i do this obligatory sumup thing, but this year seems to have been vastly different from the rest. i’m hard-pressed between choosing 2003 and 2005 as my favourite year, despite having various ups and downs in the process. sometimes it’s the little things that make it all worthwhile. this year has been full of surprises and many little good things. things like the pwn lit club, the mugging club, and now soon-to-be oxf rejects club (haha), the frantic note-copying in class, running up and down from the canteen to LT5 buying food and drinks, the yongtaufoo stall auntie who keeps mistaking me for SF and SF for me (even though the girl eats nothing but chee cheong fun and drinks nothing but hot barley), my crazy obsession with vitasoy, getting thrown out of a pub in lake district with my dubious photocopied ID, hiking for god knows how long up a stupid hill and finding a single flower in the middle of like 308576586 miles of grassland (york is odd), dancing in the moonlight, the kboxing that never materialised (oh HZ! how!), the fishing trips, bitching by the jetty, running after stupid bicycles that refused to wait, the goddamn set building for production this year, sneaking out with K. to orchard while everyone was slaving away (hahaha), watching SDJRR play at bandage and prom, getting caught in the rain 4067405877 times, getting high in clarke quay with RM and B. the first time round, then all the memories it brought back for B. and JS that culminated in that eulogy rubbish that seems to circulating everywhere now, the third time round with the mongolia people (i miss you yanj), the clubbing, dancing on the podium, getting hit on by odd people, the cute guy in the blue tshirt, CH getting drunk, M.’s dog, HY’s house, running all over singapore with yanj and camping on sheares bridge (so beautiful) for two hours and taking dumb pictures of raffles in boat quay, and best of all, jumping into a hotel pool with all our clothes on in the middle of orchard (you’re the craziest person i’ve met this year man). what i love are the wonderful conversations, the people i’ve grown closer to, the things i’ve settled, how i hope i can walk out of 2005 without any regrets (and winning that bet). in short, this whole year can be characterised by “WTF?” and a whole lot of laughter following.

also, this week’s been pure madness. there are so many crazy things happening i don’t even know where to start describing from. but it’s been a good week to end off the year, and i suspect things will get crazier tonight. i don’t think there’s anything better than spending holidays with people you love. aww yeah baby (:

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sing for the year

sing with me, sing for the year,
sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
sing with me, just for today
maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

it’s the last day of the year! every year i do this obligatory sumup thing, but this year seems to have been vastly different from the rest. i’m hard-pressed between choosing 2003 and 2005 as my favourite year, despite having various ups and downs in the process. sometimes it’s the little things that make it all worthwhile. this year has been full of surprises and many little good things. things like the pwn lit club, the mugging club, and now soon-to-be oxf rejects club (haha), the frantic note-copying in class, running up and down from the canteen to LT5 buying food and drinks, the yongtaufoo stall auntie who keeps mistaking me for SF and SF for me (even though the girl eats nothing but chee cheong fun and drinks nothing but hot barley), my crazy obsession with vitasoy, getting thrown out of a pub in lake district with my dubious photocopied ID, hiking for god knows how long up a stupid hill and finding a single flower in the middle of like 308576586 miles of grassland (york is odd), dancing in the moonlight, the kboxing that never materialised (oh HZ! how!), the fishing trips, bitching by the jetty, running after stupid bicycles that refused to wait, the goddamn set building for production this year, sneaking out with K. to orchard while everyone was slaving away (hahaha), watching SDJRR play at bandage and prom, getting caught in the rain 4067405877 times, getting high in clarke quay with RM and B. the first time round, then all the memories it brought back for B. and JS that culminated in that eulogy rubbish that seems to circulating everywhere now, the third time round with the mongolia people (i miss you yanj), the clubbing, dancing on the podium, getting hit on by odd people, the cute guy in the blue tshirt, CH getting drunk, M.’s dog, HY’s house, running all over singapore with yanj and camping on sheares bridge (so beautiful) for two hours and taking dumb pictures of raffles in boat quay, and best of all, jumping into a hotel pool with all our clothes on in the middle of orchard (you’re the craziest person i’ve met this year man). what i love are the wonderful conversations, the people i’ve grown closer to, the things i’ve settled, how i hope i can walk out of 2005 without any regrets (and winning that bet). in short, this whole year can be characterised by “WTF?” and a whole lot of laughter following. 

also, this week’s been pure madness. there are so many crazy things happening i don’t even know where to start describing from. but it’s been a good week to end off the year, and i suspect things will get crazier tonight. i don’t think there’s anything better than spending holidays with people you love. aww yeah baby (: 

today was madness. just pure madnesss (:

‘why i should leave…no – why i’m leaving you for him. well, let’s see here…well, let’s see; where should i begin? every night you get annihilated with all your friends, and every night i drink alone until you stumble home wanting some – like some fuck and run. i know you sleep around, i see it in the eyes of those girls. those fucking girls…they smile and nod, but never offer a single word – i’m just in the way – i’m the ball and chain, you’re the jailbird chirping, “how hard life is in the cage!” how hard it is waking up next to me. well, you’ve dug this hole, come on and fill me up. when you said you loved me i knew i was getting fucked. you said you’d never let go – all that stopped…you used to turn me on, now we’re just getting off. that’s why i’m leaving you.’

*** and the drunken erratic response from april’s ex-boyfriend trevor post, upon finding said various notes ***

you really, really think this guy is gonna make it all right? you told me you could never be in love with another man, “oh but this one is it!” but i remember when we met we knew that this was the end. yeah, i remember – i remember everything the haircuts, the dollar movies. we used to sneak a six pack in your bag, and wait for a girl to scream or a car to crash so we could crack open our cans. or the time you shaved my head in the front yard; a passerby stopped to take a picture – we ended up in the paper. and now you want to leave? well, maybe i forgot a couple things, it doesn’t mean i don’t remember how it feels when you’re lying naked next to me. valentine, i want to feel your hips pressed up against mine. we’ll push into each other – love’s alive. it might be fleeting, but it’s ours and it’s tonight…so won’t you reconsider love-lost lives? you might be lonely, but i’m still by your side. you might have to leave, but not tonight.

—some song i stumbled on, with excerpts from the various notes strewn around the bedroom of april connolly, february 24 1997

omg i love the last line

this reminds me of what K constantly wants to do to his own school because the CHS people are just bloody irritating sometimes. i can almost imagine his stupid star awards/sad violin music playing in the background… i love these people. i think RGS died too unfunny a death though it was relevant (i guess)

from the student’s sketchpad

i’ve been feeling sort of under the weather today, pardon the pun. might be because i got caught in the rain, or that i ate too much during lunch, and drank too much coffee during the afternoon. after slacking for awhile i probably drank too much at one go, ate too little, and died playing badminton with K. in the aftermath of the rain. i got thoroughly pwned by a small kid who later pwned IL, and we played stupid card games in which i always ended up losing. and life is weirdddddddd. there’s alot of stuff i haven’t had to deal with in a loooong time and getting back into it seems kinda odd. and my phone bill is going to die this month hohoho

i’ve had NO sleep since 10 last morning. i think i’m going to crash soon omg. i spent the wee hours of the morning talking to DL and IH online and generally talking rubbish and the weather is fantastic fantastic. its a COOL christmas. i love 2005 more and more (: (:

ok um its 5am. an hour ago i was at IL’s house and i got home at 4.11, which is testament to how fast IL’s dad was driving at that time. anyway tonight was crack. on wheels. drinking copious amounts of sangria at 3rd uncle’s house and talking to my cousin about ‘disgraceful behaviour’ (he got drunk after getting his pilot licence and shouted CLEAR FOR TAKEOFF at the top of his voice when he stood in front of the reverse bungee thing), and while half-drunkenly discussing the merits of various JCs, we realised we had to go to church and hence we sat through an hour of mass half-stoned. after that was even more drinking and even more food at IL’s house in which we laughed at various (okay, one) drunk people and said stupid stuff to each other. walking around orchard, getting sprayed, spraying people (J., you must die), trying to avoid the world with SJ pretending not to know the rest of them, playing pool at 130 in the morning half-stoned, half-drunk, and really high, missing all the balls (we lost by 5 balls once hahhah) and constantly high-fiving X. for no reason even though we missed half our balls and his stupid sexy pose rubbish. back home disturbing T.’s beauty sleep teasing him about B.’s sudden appearance from the shadows, eating lots of maggi mee and drinking lots of milk tea (responsible for my insomnia now), getting chased by my mum to come back. this may be the best christmas eve ever. :)

i think i might have to change my new year resolution before i break it, hm.

touch me, take me to that other place, teach me i know i’m not a hopeless case, see the world in green and blue, see china right in front of you, see the canyons broken by cloud, see the tuna fleets clearing the sea out, see the bedouin fires at night, see the oil fields at first light, and see the bird with the leaf in her mouth, after the flood all the colours came out – it was a beautiful day, don’t let it get away, beautiful day – touch me, take me to that other place, teach me i know i’m not a hopeless case, what you don’t have you don’t need it now, what you don’t know you can feel it somehow, what you don’t have you don’t need it now, don’t need it now – it was a beautiful day

merry christmas (: it’s shaping out to be a great year

***
ETA: it’s time to play I TOLD YOU SO! hah at least it justifies going out tonight and getting wasted (:

400 i do this every year, i don’t know why i bother

because we steal shit like this from each other all the time.

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
hum, not too bad i think, in spite of all things

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
there’ve been too many favourite little moments, but i think the best one had to be when i traipsed through chs in the dark to find my way to the track and we started dancing to a little cd player in the middle of the chs track with random people running around looking at us like we were retards haha (:

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
when it was after block tests and econs results came out on my birthday and i realised i did really badly (in all honesty i wasn’t upset because i did badly cos i suck at econs anyway, i was upset cos i lost to someone i thought was a complete moron by 1 mark and it just rankled terribly, K will know hahahah and anyway i made up for it during july blocks and prelims wasn’t too bad i guess) and started thinking to myself why every year something bad has to happen on my birthday lol (: i hope next year isn’t like that

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
in DC’s house drinking champagne after rushing from the hospital and i remember the radio was on and an eagles song was playing just before the countdown

5) Who were you with?
denise, whom i never see throughout the year except for these momentous occasions

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
probably at some mambo party. LUCAS wanna go!?!? ask everyone along hahaha

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
humhum i don’t really know probably a whole bunch of people (:

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
oh yeah for the first time in 467458 years

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
continuing to stay unattached! ahahah after reading SSP i am feeling empowered as the stereotypical RGS girl! maybe i will burn all my bras soon. heh … ok whatever, actually considering the limited number of people in my social circle and their errant incompatibility with me i don’t think it’s a very hard resolution to keep

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
nope! well i fell in love with random tv serials, but i don’t think that counts

11) If so who?
i am so glad not to be able to answer this question

12) If yes, do they know?
nooooooooo

13) Are you still in love with them?
errrrrrrrrr

14) You regret it?
pointlessssssssss

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
noooooooooo this is getting boring

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
well hrm not really but i rediscovered old friends

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
HRMZY. ‘new friends’ sounds like i don’t have ‘old friends’ anymore which is kinda gay when they’re actually all the same bunch of people boggle

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
man this sounds stupid but probably november. june was pretty good cos england is #1 travel destination awww yeahhh (: er how about december? i have spent december absolutely nothing constructive

19) Did you travel abroad in 2005?
yes

20) How many different countries did you travel to in 2005?
two!

21) Did you lose anyone close to you in 2005?
nope!

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yeah kinda. i miss andi! :( who is working her ass off in ST i hear hahahah

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
i have watched so few movies in 2005 and all of them were not worthy. probably lemony snicket even though it was horrifyingly mind-numbing but the company was good and i spent half the movie debating with M whether the girl in front of us was hot with HY emphatically interjecting “fuck no” every few seconds hahahahha

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
stereophonics, dakota! RM introduced it to me! and even though it’s like an uber breakup song and everytime i hear it i can’t decide whether to bop to it or run off and cry in some little corner of my room hahahaha (: but it’s a great song to listen to on a roadtrip. i was looping it in the bus in england the whole way

25) What was your favorite album from 2005?
you got to be kidding me. i haven’t viewed music in albums in the longest time. i just download whatever songs i like and leave it at that (:

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
er, live, zero. but i’m going to take PL’s advice and maybe fly to melb when U2 is going! WHEEE!

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
zzzzzz

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
well in the grand scheme of things not really but maybe i’ll bust the limit in the coming party days hohoho

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
I AM CLEAN, YO

30) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
aside from watching 40 episodes of bleach back to back JUST BEFORE THE As, not really

31) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF (stupid bryan hahahah) i don’t hold grudges!!!

32) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
heh probably i’m not the nicest person around I WISH SOME PEOPLE WOULD JUST DISAPPEAR

33) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
can’t really think of anyone. i’m in like my happiest zen karma whatever mood these days. ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD! I LOVE EVERYBODY (how contradictory from last statement)

34) How much money did you spend in 2005?
er, alot. most of it was done THIS MONTH. HAHHAHAH

35) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
seeing everyone laugh at our jokes in dramafeste OHYES what a great script haahha

36) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
i think i’m too thick-skinned to be embarrassed. because i don’t remember anything

37) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
last year i said i’d study harder and get good grades. although good grades to me don’t mean what they do for everybody else. if you know me i’m probably the last person in the world who’ll be bothered if they don’t get 4As. i don’t need to have a perfect score, it’s just not a priority for me. i know i’m not in the top whatever percent of my cohort, but that doesn’t bother me either. so long as it gets me to where i want to go, i’m good. why take life so seriously? (ETA: now that i am more lucid, it’s probably just an excuse for not studying as hard as other people heh, but whatever i slacked throughout PSLE and Os and i still got here, so for As we’ll see though i really studied damn bloody hard zzz) — i digressed, didn’t i? the answer is nothing. HAHHAHA. no regrets remember?

38) What are your plans for 2006?
GET A JOB. GET A LIFE. GET SOME MONEY? TAKE IT EASY (:

utter randomness

i have this sudden urge to fly to canada and build myself a tent in the basement of my cousin’s house and sleep in it, like when i was seven years old. i remember liking the feeling of being seven. seven was a good age for a kid to be, just entering primary school, making new friends, buying ice lollies for 20cents a day (i thought myself quite rich then, to be able to eat 2 every recess). when i was seven i went on the best holiday ever in my life, still my longest ever at three weeks in which i visited all the possible disneylands there were and found time to fly to canada and korea as well. it was a lovely journey and i remember seeing christmas trees, real christmas trees, with real snow. out in the very real open and the very cold snowmen, which i know was cold because we built it with our bare hands scooping snow up from the driveway and shaping it into a huge ball. i remember lying in the snow making snow angels like all those cheesy christmas cards people like to send, although to a seven year old from a tropical country everything cold and white is a magical experience. to this day i love the cold months. summer, with its beaches and bikinis and suntan lotion, are too much of an ideal for me, having faced the heat on an everyday basis for most of my life and being chronically allergic to all things sunny. during the holidays we escape the heat and run away to the cold places, even to europe during the spring months where the weather in june is still bearable and not at all like summer. i remember freezing on an unnaturally cold day in sweden in summer and looking at my plate of pasta like it was the best thing on earth. i remember that the mashed potatoes from a roadside stall in denmark are the best thing you will ever find by a long shot when you’re a hungry kid. and buying swimsuits in 10-degree weather. it was funny. childhood was a lovely time.

as soon as we came into it we grew out of childhood. nobody realises this till it’s over and then you realise that secondary school is the source of all problems. things aren’t the same anymore, you’re expected to behave differently, and yet nowadays when i encounter a 13-year old i just think of them as overgrown 12-year olds. things slowly being exposed to you will expose themselves for too long, then they turn brown and wrinkly like old paper and you hang it unobtrusively by the side of your table. all i remember from my secondary school days is that last, final, beautiful year, the one that cemented my experiences in that wonderful school in which half the world is bashing in the newspapers now. i feel slightly aggrieved. but sometimes i know it is not undeserved. yet when i think of the magical times playing charades on the whiteboard and clowning around among the desks on april fool’s day, and of the disused blackboard we converted into an idiosyncratic documentary of our everyday lives, the memories override everything and to now i don’t think i made the wrong choice. but there were wonderful things about holidays that i always remember, including that infuriating test of patience in a taxi in beijing when i was fourteen and listened to savage garden on loop about 10 times, because being stuck in an 8-hour traffic jam with the snow falling all over your head could just either be infuriating or just plain funny. i remember the way in which bicycles would go round the bend and as they did their riders would flop down by the side, and i’d laugh because china people were so funny, as they were at that time, travelling on bicycles seemed like a really bad idea in the snow-filled streets of beijing. but i remember seeing the snowflakes fall into my soup of dumplings that i was eating by the road for a dollar, the way i burnt my tongue on the hot soup that spurted out of my xiao long bao in shanghai, that trail of footprints in the forbidden city the day after, the main square covered in the overused cliche, that blanket of white. and then i thought to myself as i did when i was seven that no matter what happens to you after it snows, what does happen to you after it snows makes it all worth it. snow is a magical thing, and i still like to be a kid about it.

junior college was an odd period and i can say that now that it’s over. in it i made some good friends, some bad friends, some odd friends, some normal friends, and alot more acquaintances. i remember the odd things, like the multitude of conversations i have had with people, the kinder surprises, the korean food, being on the phone talking about families while watching live 8. the atmosphere of the indoor stadium as the eagles came back to life, the post-alcohol high that kicks in when you begin to dance with as many random people as possible, all the while holding hands with somebody when going anywhere in that crowd of people. singing to the guitar, sleeping in between the seats in LT5, the breeze at east coast park, hammering nails into piles and piles of wood and walls. watching hailstones rain down on our beloved houses, trying to communicate with people, embracing over vodka and a storm of styrofoam. those midnight walks in the darkness, the early morning hikes in the wilderness. the face of a mongolian pressed against the glass of the airport window, tears running down the windowpane. as i began to realise the enormity of the number of people i will never get to know, i began randomly clicking pictures on the friendster main page and was shocked to discover that indeed, there are only six degrees of separation between you and the random person living in southern california who looks extremely hot in a swimsuit. how does that happen? how does the enormity of the randomness of life begin to occur to anybody? love is such a random hit-and-miss affair. and love is a tenuous concept, a nebulous concept, a hazy smoke-filled dream that floats in front of your eyes and manifests itself in the thousands of drama serials that television corporations churn out, while never actually settling down. when i think of settling down i think of the statue of raffles in front of victoria concert hall, his feet firmly planted on that pedestal where he will remain if luck persists forever and ever and ever, amen. how odd to be talking about love. how odd to be setting things in stone, how odd to be writing yourself a book on your life. your life, little girl, is an empty page that men will want to write on. your life, little girl, is an empty stage for fate to turn the light on. the light on! how odd to conceive of yourself as not a child, and not an adult, halfway between the gutter and the stars.

youth is a lovely period. there are ups and downs and joys and regrets. today i went to confession and told the priest everything i’d done in my life, because my list of sins were so long and numerous i felt ashamed to be going up there because i hadn’t gone to confession ever since my very first one when i was eight years old. but i wanted to leave my regrets at the door and just be 18 and enter 2006 without any regrets and feelings that i didn’t do something. and like confession i realised that the longer you put it off the more you will never want to do it. so i unloaded ten years’ worth of sins on my parish priest and now i feel as if there is a huge load off my back.

because i am so utterly random it is indescribable

i have this sudden urge to fly to canada and build myself a tent in the basement of my cousin’s house and sleep in it, like when i was seven years old. i remember liking the feeling of being seven. seven was a good age for a kid to be, just entering primary school, making new friends, buying ice lollies for 20cents a day (i thought myself quite rich then, to be able to eat 2 every recess). when i was seven i went on the best holiday ever in my life, still my longest ever at three weeks in which i visited all the possible disneylands there were and found time to fly to canada and korea as well. it was a lovely journey and i remember seeing christmas trees, real christmas trees, with real snow. out in the very real open and the very cold snowmen, which i know was cold because we built it with our bare hands scooping snow up from the driveway and shaping it into a huge ball. i remember lying in the snow making snow angels like all those cheesy christmas cards people like to send, although to a seven year old from a tropical country everything cold and white is a magical experience. to this day i love the cold months. summer, with its beaches and bikinis and suntan lotion, are too much of an ideal for me, having faced the heat on an everyday basis for most of my life and being chronically allergic to all things sunny. during the holidays we escape the heat and run away to the cold places, even to europe during the spring months where the weather in june is still bearable and not at all like summer. i remember freezing on an unnaturally cold day in sweden in summer and looking at my plate of pasta like it was the best thing on earth. i remember that the mashed potatoes from a roadside stall in denmark are the best thing you will ever find by a long shot when you’re a hungry kid. and buying swimsuits in 10-degree weather. it was funny. childhood was a lovely time.

as soon as we came into it we grew out of childhood. nobody realises this till it’s over and then you realise that secondary school is the source of all problems. things aren’t the same anymore, you’re expected to behave differently, and yet nowadays when i encounter a 13-year old i just think of them as overgrown 12-year olds. things slowly being exposed to you will expose themselves for too long, then they turn brown and wrinkly like old paper and you hang it unobtrusively by the side of your table. all i remember from my secondary school days is that last, final, beautiful year, the one that cemented my experiences in that wonderful school in which half the world is bashing in the newspapers now. i feel slightly aggrieved. but sometimes i know it is not undeserved. yet when i think of the magical times playing charades on the whiteboard and clowning around among the desks on april fool’s day, and of the disused blackboard we converted into an idiosyncratic documentary of our everyday lives, the memories override everything and to now i don’t think i made the wrong choice. but there were wonderful things about holidays that i always remember, including that infuriating test of patience in a taxi in beijing when i was fourteen and listened to savage garden on loop about 10 times, because being stuck in an 8-hour traffic jam with the snow falling all over your head could just either be infuriating or just plain funny. i remember the way in which bicycles would go round the bend and as they did their riders would flop down by the side, and i’d laugh because china people were so funny, as they were at that time, travelling on bicycles seemed like a really bad idea in the snow-filled streets of beijing. but i remember seeing the snowflakes fall into my soup of dumplings that i was eating by the road for a dollar, the way i burnt my tongue on the hot soup that spurted out of my xiao long bao in shanghai, that trail of footprints in the forbidden city the day after, the main square covered in the overused cliche, that blanket of white. and then i thought to myself as i did when i was seven that no matter what happens to you after it snows, what does happen to you after it snows makes it all worth it. snow is a magical thing, and i still like to be a kid about it.

junior college was an odd period and i can say that now that it’s over. in it i made some good friends, some bad friends, some odd friends, some normal friends, and alot more acquaintances. i remember the odd things, like the multitude of conversations i have had with people, the kinder surprises, the korean food, being on the phone talking about families while watching live 8. the atmosphere of the indoor stadium as the eagles came back to life, the post-alcohol high that kicks in when you begin to dance with as many random people as possible, all the while holding hands with somebody when going anywhere in that crowd of people. singing to the guitar, sleeping in between the seats in LT5, the breeze at east coast park, hammering nails into piles and piles of wood and walls. watching hailstones rain down on our beloved houses, trying to communicate with people, embracing over vodka and a storm of styrofoam. those midnight walks in the darkness, the early morning hikes in the wilderness. the face of a mongolian pressed against the glass of the airport window, tears running down the windowpane. as i began to realise the enormity of the number of people i will never get to know, i began randomly clicking pictures on the friendster main page and was shocked to discover that indeed, there are only six degrees of separation between you and the random person living in southern california who looks extremely hot in a swimsuit. how does that happen? how does the enormity of the randomness of life begin to occur to anybody? love is such a random hit-and-miss affair. and love is a tenuous concept, a nebulous concept, a hazy smoke-filled dream that floats in front of your eyes and manifests itself in the thousands of drama serials that television corporations churn out, while never actually settling down. when i think of settling down i think of the statue of raffles in front of victoria concert hall, his feet firmly planted on that pedestal where he will remain if luck persists forever and ever and ever, amen. how odd to be talking about love. how odd to be setting things in stone, how odd to be writing yourself a book on your life. your life, little girl, is an empty page that men will want to write on. your life, little girl, is an empty stage for fate to turn the light on. the light on! how odd to conceive of yourself as not a child, and not an adult, halfway between the gutter and the stars.

youth is a lovely period. there are ups and downs and joys and regrets. today i went to confession and told the priest everything i’d done in my life, because my list of sins were so long and numerous i felt ashamed to be going up there because i hadn’t gone to confession ever since my very first one when i was eight years old. but i wanted to leave my regrets at the door and just be 18 and enter 2006 without any regrets and feelings that i didn’t do something. and like confession i realised that the longer you put it off the more you will never want to do it. so i unloaded ten years’ worth of sins on my parish priest and now i feel as if there is a huge load off my back.

let your balalaika sing what my guitar wants to say

spent yesterday eating like hell at plock’s house it was unbelievable. and watching the eagles live for 3 hours is just as fantastic as the day we went to the indoor stadium and saw them. it was like reliving it all over again, only this time on dvd joe walsh was alot crazier than usual (helmetcam wtf) and once again we nodded to ourselves and wondered how anybody could not like the eagles when their skill is fantastic and glenn frey’s arrangements are always so wonderful. although we got damn pissed while eating melon seeds (/random) that they kicked don felder out cos the poor guitarist they hired is good but just doesn’t have the same feel. and he always stands apart from the rest of them! poor guy. wheee hhahaha farewell 1 — “we can have as many farewell tours as we want, so long as we number them” (: (:

today was terribly tiring. who said there wasn’t anything to do after exams end?

my toes are on fire
i will type this post without any punctuation because i can barely type straight as it is
here’s to nameless cute guys
actually just one cute guy who was fairly tall and had a cute blue tshirt
whom i danced with for awhile
yay for free lifts home from half-strangers who are friends of friends
and cheapo friends who drink from 7/11
i love my sec4 gang
they rock
but my toes are frigging on fire omg heels are so bad for you

Mark Knopfler has an extraordinary ability to make a Schecter Custom Stratocaster hoot and sing like angels on a Saturday night, exhausted from being good all week and needing a stiff drink.

/the ultimate hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, douglas adams

PHWOAR douglas adams is officially the coolest author ever (: (: (:

***
also, since i am not applying for scholarships anytime soon and hence no scholarship board will ever come here, i am going to throw in my two cents’ worth even though i have tons of non-gep friends and i don’t wish to offend any of them. two years ago i would’ve sent in a rebuttal point by point, but now that i’m actually free my sentiment towards this is far more succinct and far less eloquent. but still:

GEPPERS > YOU
argh, stupid woman.

also, BPGHS is far from being a neighbourhood school. stupid people. urgh.

marriage is overrated

i currently have full sets of notes for econs and history which i’m itching to give away. i doubt anyone needs the lit and i threw all the pc, everyone can screw gp and even more people hate math. i will not be the first to say my econs/hist notes are Very Good. trust me! half the class has borrowed my notes at some point in our two-year term in hc to copy because they fell asleep/weren’t paying attention/didn’t come/just couldn’t be bothered in class! my econs diagrams are impeccable! my writing is neat! my history notes come fully annotated with all the information from the extracts (so you can effectively throw them away!)!!!! also, i have millions of essay plans. i even have RJ notes. (!!! PIRACY) and confidential stuff from GIC!

COME ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.
pls message me. :x


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Originally uploaded by supermango.

today was super tiring. went all over singapore and visited, like a tourist, all the racial enclaves only to discover a disturbing similarity in architecture. but there were some poignant shots, alot of interesting things to see, and all around it was good fun. especially on sheares bridge where we took pictures of cars and lorries, got yelled at by motorcyclists, yelled at a couple making out along kallang river, climbed on expressway signs and waited too long for a bus. alas 5 hours of walking around was negated by that humongous carl’s jr dinner we ended up having, but it wasn’t too bad (: we ran up the bridges at esplanade and hid under the expressway and took stupid photos. i love photo trails! though my camera died the moment i finished taking a shot of fullerton hotel, there were alot more interesting things, and alot more thoughts, but i’ll run off to sleep first (:

more pictures HERE and HERE

——————–
1 buy my prom dress
2 go shopping for a new bag
3 nice pair of heels that are not for prom
4 buy a dress and my polo yay!
5 go fishing
6 play some pool
7 food trail!
8 go on phototrail with yanj
9 write a poem or two
10 finish all my library books
11 pay all my library fines
12 get a new memory card
13 clean my room
14 watch bleach from the start again
15 plock’s eagles party!
16 movie marathon
17 class BBQ
18 go bug the stupid photogsoc pres who still hasn’t given us our photos zz
19 have dinner with M and HY before they enlist

20 buy some nice earrings! yay
21 back up all my files
22 print out all my writing stuff
23 transfer blog archives to word
24 find the dvd for a moment to remember
25 do sth nice for my grandma

not too bad, i’d say(:

PROM


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Originally uploaded by supermango.

it was okay, we didn’t eat much, me and YG spent most of the time walking around taking pictures with people and listened to people like J. bitch about dresses it was pretty funny (: i loved postprom because it was just so surreal and the morning walk with YG in the rain was pretty good. pictures are up but they look disgusting. the uglier rest of the photos are here AND I DIDNT BLOODY FRIGGING GLOW LIKE A FAIRY! AWWWYEAH the wonders of putting as little makeup as possible zzz (: i wanted to go without doing makeup/hair (cos i’m gay like that) then YG was like !!!! no so i compromised and did my face and let my hair alone. but whatever and ever and ever. i like my class people alot! yayy for prom

ETA:
somebody just asked me what the answer to 6×7* was. being of sound mind and reasonable intellect i replied that the answer is 42. this, of course, is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. ladies and gentlemen, i believe we have a winner.

*shut up. i know DA already explored the possibility of this being the actual question. cut me some slack!

OH OXFORD. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! ON PROM DAY NO LESS? :(:(:(

it occurs to me that This Is It. since they have offered a second interview, chances are they’re testing to see if i match up to DKG’s report since my interview went well but i probably have had dismal LNAT scores. so this is the test in which they will see if i am worthy of a place. and then of course it has to occur 1) on a mobile phone 2) on prom day 3) half an hour before prom starts cos of bloody time difference 4) possibly not in a quiet place 5) when i am in a very frazzled state of mind in which i tend to talk very fast. i am scared quite shitless. argh. help!

after trudging through raffles place amidst the lunchtime crowd to deliver egg tarts to my cousin, i think i’ve discovered a whole new food paradise. i finally bought the ultimate hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy and subsequently spent the rest of the day getting through 2 out of 5 books instead of cleaning my room. and at this hour, after successfully torturing myself reading through tons of food blogs, i am convinced one of the major criteria in finding a life partner is a great love of food and the ability to cook.

on a completely unrelated note, hk service far outstrips singapore. i walked around the shops for abit today and was struck by the difference. over there no matter what shop you walk into and what you’re wearing, the staff always greet you with a smile and a ‘hello’ and say ‘bye’ to you even if you don’t buy anything. i think it might have something to do with the fact that they’ve gotten used to chinese people from the mainland dressing like crap but nearly buying the whole shop. and eye candy abounds. on the streets, in the shopping centres, in the shops… my mother and i spent a substantial amount of time figuring out a route to walk so we could always pass by the aquascutum shop in town just to ogle this crazily good-looking sales assistant with crazy hair. now i think hongkong’s a pretty livable place. (:

i’m back! it seemed like a real holiday this time, maybe because there was nothing to worry about (i completely forgot about the existence of internet till i came home to find 83 new mails waiting in my inbox) though the main purpose of the trip was to see people (and shop. and eat) so it was pretty good. hk wasn’t really very exciting; maybe it’s cos it’s already familiar so everything seemed half-new but not really.

so i didn’t really take a lot of pictures, mostly silly pictures of my mum and i and the occasional neon-lighted photo. alot of things have changed; the new MTR lines are up, some of the old eateries have gone, but ocean terminal still remains there forever and ever and the landmark is still filled with shops that hold stuff nobody can afford unless they earn a few hundred thousand a month. i have gotten to know that rabbit-hole that is ocean terminal inside out over these few days pLEH! i didn’t really buy alot of stuff though, considering the amount of shopping hk is famous for and the rate at which my mother seemed willing to pay for everything. i got two jackets, two pairs of jeans, a dress and (half) a bag. whoever said hk stuff was cheaper than sg is lying! some stuff is abt the same or even more expensive! (the wonders of globalisation, everything is the same everywhere, it’s just that hk has way more designs) the sales only started halfway through my stay there (when dec started).. so the only thing i bought on discount was my prom dress, which even then cost a considerable amt hm. ohwell but i ate so much i don’t know if i can still fit into my dress now, though i walked around to no avail till yesterday before i actually found something. sorry NJ! it’s black again! hahahah i’m damn boring zomg (:

i must have watched a zillion movies in the hotel and on the plane. and the amt of TV serials TVB puts out is just mind-boggling. why do they take so long to bring it over to singapore!!! 55 is like months behind, and channel U and 8 are YEARS behind. wtf! i protest!

but maybe it’s because i’m older this time round, that i get to hear alot of things i didn’t know about before. adult things, people things, things better left unsaid. how alot of things can change in the blink of an eye, when sometimes your greatest fear is not dying but being unable to die. it’s been alternately sobering and uplifting. i feel a bit different. but slightly happier.