It’s January, and I’m way overdue on a few things. My brain is fried from work and I would like to tell myself that if I distract myself for long enough, things will pass me by quickly enough. But things never pass as quickly as they should, and so we’re still stuck. Luckily, there are small joys.
I am tired of pretending to be positive. There are times when all I want most is just to be able to sit somewhere, undisturbed. Alone. But time is so tight and so short, and there are so many things to do, always so many calls to answer, from everyone and anyone, and times like these you wonder why on earth do you promise someone that you will always be there? I used to, when I was younger, when there was more angst to go around and there were more broken hearts to assuage. Nowadays as we grow up, the calls come less, and not just because we hide our heartbreaks better. Nowadays I am tired of hearing the same old things. Nowadays I am tired of saying the same old things. I am tired of always being the only one, and knowing that at the end of the day, I will always be the only one.