459: go forth

How long has it been? Every time it seems you get weaker and weaker. It is not enough yet, to just go. I wish that somehow I could tell you that this too will pass, but my Cantonese is not good enough, and I know that it is not true. All I can do is talk to you, stay with you, make you laugh for a while. Maybe that is all you need, and time. But all 95 years have gone by, and maybe you think that you have already had all the time in the world. I want to tell you there are people who love you, though you are old and weak, though you are useless. That love is what keeps the rest of us going, in the hope that when we are your age, other people too will love us the same way. I know that in the middle of the night when no one is around, you lie half-awake through the medication and think about how long your life has been, and how it is already long enough. But above all things, there is someone watching over you, as there is for all of us, and there must be a reason you are still here. You’re a fighter, and we will fight with you. 


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